Wednesday, February 10, 2016

It isn't what I planned....

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11

Life isn’t always perfect but sometimes it’s even better. I’ve been thinking about where my life really is and where I thought/wanted it to be.

I’ve always had this dream about what my life would look like as an adult. Don’t we all? Mine was probably “farther fetched” then the average girl but it looked a bit like this. (in my mind’s eye=)

I wanted to live in a studio apartment in some big city. Heels, Starbucks and long hours of work in an office - one that an elevator had to be used to reach. My dream job, a lawyer. There would be meetings, the kinds around those huge tables.  

I’d have an expensive car.

I’d go home for the holidays and stay with my parents.  

I’d get my nails done weekly with my girlfriends.

Weekends I would spend alone in my room or at the gym.

A Perfect Life.

But no. Reality isn’t exactly that.

I wake super early every morning and put more wood in my stove and while waiting for my chilly house to heat up I jump in the warm shower, which I practically have to drag myself out of if it’s super cold out…

Cleaning stalls is a never ending chore, while the rooster crows non-stop, no matter the time of day. I smell like hay and manure more than not. And hauling firewood is a norm on my “to-do” list.

I work in an office, alright, but have to hold my cell phone to my left ear (closer to the window) or I’ll lose whoever I’m talking with. My internet comes from a small “hot spot” that sits in the (you guessed it) window. The lighting isn’t good and sometimes after a long day my eyes ache.

At night I sit alone on my couch, in an oversize sweater – drowning myself in a mug of hot chocolate, trying to unthaw from jogging thoroughbreds in the blistering cold. And wonder why I still do it. But tomorrow night I’ll go back and do it again and the next…if I don't I'd miss it terribly.

For fun I look through cookbooks and dream of going to culinary school. I run. Or I’ll spend my evening painting a wall, baiting a mouse trap, changing a light fixture or trying to read a book.

Weekends I drive home from my third job, missing yet another of my brother’s basketball games and wondering if it’s really worth it. I smell like like I’ve bathed in ranch dressing. And by the time I shower etc. it’s closer to the morning hours, than not.

My nails I hardly paint anymore. I have coffee with friends early on Saturdays or slip in a dinner here and there during some of my weeks. Always feeling rushed. But so thankful for understanding friends and the wonderful small amounts of time I get to share with them.

Is my life perfect? No.

 Is it easy?….NO!

 Is it worth it? I’ll get back to you with this one.

I’m I happy?  


Standing outside my house in my coat and overall. Watching as the snow falls silently, and the smoke from my chimney curls up over the moon and my rooster breaks the peace by crowing…I have to smile and thank God for this life he’s given me.

My heart is overwhelmed! 

Happy hump day!!!


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