me+mistakes

“Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?”  ~Ashleigh Brilliant

I hate making mistakes and this past Saturday’s pumpkin pie, disaster, was no different. When I make an error I feel like the world is coming to an end. Literally it will ruin my entire day…it’s a feeling of embarrassment and humiliation, all mixed together ending in me blaming myself for every problem I’ve ever faced. (I hope that makes sense, it the only way I can put it into words). But anyway this makes me shut down and normally will make the remainder of my day a real drag. Even my boss knows not to tell me of a work related error early in the day or my day will be ruined. (proven fact) I’m not making excuses for myself…I know it has to probably do largely with my age, but I’m trying to rise above this “feeling” and brush off my blunders and not let it effect my day. I only have one life and I don’t want to waste even a few moments in this self pitying attitude.

“Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”   ― John Gardner

  I made the crust for this pie perfect and the filling was so thick and golden, everything looked just right. But I’m a “non-taster” cook and this simple fact completely ruined the outcome of this baking venture. I normally just follow my head knowledge and eye how much of seasonings, etc., I believe should go into my dish. A good example of this is when I make mash potatoes; I will mash and season them without ever tasting them and their perfect, salted to perfection=) haha…most of the time. This is a result of all my dieting and not being able to eat what I was cooking, pathetic but true (which of course isn’t a big issue now, since I’m kinda pulling away from dieting).

But I’m still trying to get passed this old habit and taste while I cook, as a general rule again. But in this instance, even though something inside told me to taste this pie filling before I put it in the oven - I dismissed the thought and went ahead and filled the pie shell with the filling and popped it straight into the oven. It finished baking and I left it to cool while I drove over to feed my horses. On the way over, I don’t know why but, I began to think through everything I put into my pie. (btw; I never do this) And then horror of horrors, it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn’t put the sweetener in this precious pie. This wasn’t just a bad dream, it was huge nasty realization that couldn’t be reversed. I drove in shock for a bit before calling my mom to tell her the horrid news She just laughed (which made me feel soooo much better) and gave me a small lecture on why she, as a rule of thumb “always taste before BAKE.” (Thanks mom) I slowly began to see the humor in this situation and decided that we’d just have to add honey to the top of each piece as it was dished up.

beautiful piece of pie, to say it was a bit bland would be an understatement=)Me with the pie…funny I never get pictures with my food and I choose to ask Isaac to get a few of me with this pathetic version of a pumpkin pie. but if you don’t tell anyone who’d guess it wasn’t a perfect piece of pumpkin pie?!?!?!I could only get a few bits of my piece down, but here’s the way we ate it, drenched in honey.my dad liked it, wow! I don’t know how he did…it was horrible.

The three things I learned from this pumpkin pie…

first. from now on I’m going to begin tasting what I make. Always.

and secondly I’m going to try harder to not let slip ups ruin my cooking experiences. I love to bake and cook and if I make a mistake, hey I’m human and I’m not perfect, so I’m going to make mistakes daily…so I’m going to start expecting them and not let them surprised me.

and lastly I will make a pumpkin pie again. period. someday, even though I inwardly vowed I wouldn’t again. (I’m actually too turned off to the taste of pumpkin pie, due to the this pie, to try it again for a bit)

So a note to self: Don’t let your mistakes get you down today, laugh it off. Expecting the slip ups, make them easier to deal with. And being humble enough to take the blame for your mistakes needs to be my number one priority. And please don’t let a 2 minute mistake ruin your next 24 hours.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”. I Thess. 5:18