It isn't what I planned....

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11

Life isn’t always perfect but sometimes it’s even better. I’ve been thinking about where my life really is and where I thought/wanted it to be.

I’ve always had this dream about what my life would look like as an adult. Don’t we all? Mine was probably “farther fetched” then the average girl but it looked a bit like this. (in my mind’s eye=)

I wanted to live in a studio apartment in some big city. Heels, Starbucks and long hours of work in an office - one that an elevator had to be used to reach. My dream job, a lawyer. There would be meetings, the kinds around those huge tables.  

I’d have an expensive car.

I’d go home for the holidays and stay with my parents.  

I’d get my nails done weekly with my girlfriends.

Weekends I would spend alone in my room or at the gym.

A Perfect Life.

But no. Reality isn’t exactly that.

I wake super early every morning and put more wood in my stove and while waiting for my chilly house to heat up I jump in the warm shower, which I practically have to drag myself out of if it’s super cold out…

Cleaning stalls is a never ending chore, while the rooster crows non-stop, no matter the time of day. I smell like hay and manure more than not. And hauling firewood is a norm on my “to-do” list.

I work in an office, alright, but have to hold my cell phone to my left ear (closer to the window) or I’ll lose whoever I’m talking with. My internet comes from a small “hot spot” that sits in the (you guessed it) window. The lighting isn’t good and sometimes after a long day my eyes ache.

At night I sit alone on my couch, in an oversize sweater – drowning myself in a mug of hot chocolate, trying to unthaw from jogging thoroughbreds in the blistering cold. And wonder why I still do it. But tomorrow night I’ll go back and do it again and the next…if I don't I'd miss it terribly.

For fun I look through cookbooks and dream of going to culinary school. I run. Or I’ll spend my evening painting a wall, baiting a mouse trap, changing a light fixture or trying to read a book.

Weekends I drive home from my third job, missing yet another of my brother’s basketball games and wondering if it’s really worth it. I smell like like I’ve bathed in ranch dressing. And by the time I shower etc. it’s closer to the morning hours, than not.

My nails I hardly paint anymore. I have coffee with friends early on Saturdays or slip in a dinner here and there during some of my weeks. Always feeling rushed. But so thankful for understanding friends and the wonderful small amounts of time I get to share with them.

Is my life perfect? No.

 Is it easy?….NO!

 Is it worth it? I’ll get back to you with this one.

I’m I happy?  

YES! 

Standing outside my house in my coat and overall. Watching as the snow falls silently, and the smoke from my chimney curls up over the moon and my rooster breaks the peace by crowing…I have to smile and thank God for this life he’s given me.

My heart is overwhelmed! 

Happy hump day!!!

XOXO

when i think too much....

Sometimes I sit in my house and look around and just think if only that wall was painted. If my floors were actually finished. If I could see what I was cooking on the stove, but the (no light) old fan looms so low overhead that I can’t very well and pictures are always out of the question. If only my chairs were nicely painted and I had a cover for that ugly pink couch. Oh and that the old china cabinet, why does it exist at all? And that my windows would magically be finished so I get blinds, so I could remove those sheets. And that my sliding door was fixed or at least that I could purchase a new blind so whenever I’m home during the daylight (once every month) I could open it and enjoy the sunshine for a moment. For once it would be nice to come home to a completely finished house, one that didn’t look half put together. I mean I look at my table for instance, that cloth covering it looks like something straight from a flea market (and not in a good way)….why is it on there in the first place, I hardly even sit there to eat. I normally eat on the run…plate on sink while I put my makeup on in the morning and for dinner I’m so tired if I eat it’s normally swallowed on the couch. Oh and I wish i had time to actually enjoy cooking. And to take decent pictures of things I bake, to share on here…it’s so dark by the time I actually get in the kitchen that it’s out of the question. Also I’m not going to mention all the wonderful creations that I’ve burnt because I feel asleep. Well oops I guess I just did didn’t I?!?!?

Well the other night when I should have been sleeping all these thoughts were running through my head and then all of a sudden I realized. I’m focusing on what I don’t have instead of what I do. I owe 4.5 acres of sunshine (and mud at the moment=) it’s mine. I’m free!!!! No one tells me what I can’t have or do here…my childhood dreams are coming true. I bought a pig to butcher, I’m going to process my own pork!!!…something I’ve wanted to do since reading Laura Ingalls. Life isn’t about the stuff we own or have. Life is about others and we can only enjoy it if we choose to. Life is a gift from God and the only kind of gifts I’ve ever received we’re meant to be enjoyed. It’s about taking time to sit in my horses stall and talk to him instead of hauling that one last load of firewood.  I seem to not do the things I enjoy most because I feel guilty afterwards…but that shouldn’t be that way. Life is meant to be enjoyed. So once I get this concept down pat and have finally incorporated it into my workaholic mind/life, y’all will be the first to know=)

a simple white sunday

I know I've been silent a long while...life has just gotten so busy! It's like I'm on fast forward. So lately I've just been trying to learn to balance my life and work. I work endless hours on the clock and at home. And realized at the start of 2016 that I needed time of doing absolutely nothing. Doing this is actually more difficult than working for this girl=) 

Sunday we got our first snow, here in Indiana. It was a lovely, wet, damp snow...sticking to everything in sight as it floated downward. After church I came home to a cozy afternoon of just me. After tramping around outdoors in my lovely white world and taking a mini photo session of myself in the blissful wonderland. I settled to an afternoon of reading and drinking tea.

I sat quiet and concentrated on how my drink smelled, tasted and felt. This may sound dumb, but I don't think I've just enjoyed the simple act of drinking, in - well I can't remember when.

I sat in front of my window and did nothing except watch the snow fall and marvel at all God's beauty around me.

I let go of the guilt of doing absolutely nothing, for an hour on Sunday. I've decided that by doing nothing on Sunday I was actually giving myself a chance to be more productive and mindful in the future. 

Until next time,

Cheers!

casey crocker’s mini apple pies

So here we are again, another Autumn is upon us. What better way to welcome in this season but by baking up something special with apples!

I don’t know what I enjoy most about fall…is it the weather, the clothes or the wonderful food?!?!? Which is it for you? For me it would have to be….hummmmm….okay I can’t decide =)

For me fall also includes hunting, which I know doesn’t apply to everyone…but with these crisp mornings, I can hardly think of any thing else but sitting in a stand watching the sunrise and of course seeing deer. But I’ll stop before I bore you all.

My brilliant Casey came up with this super quick and easy recipe to include in our coffee date, turned cooking date, a few weeks ago. We had so much to catch up on…she’s literally been on vacation the entire month of August and I’ve been honestly very busy myself. (Traveling, home remolding etc.) Resulting in July and August being skipped entirely with a post to include in the casey crocker blog series. But no worries we're both back, refreshed and with lots of ideas. 

I seriously couldn’t stop with these green apples, I loved the color so much – I decided to paint a wall of my laundry room this color=)

Casey’s blue dress was just stunning on her=) I just love the contrast between the green and blues in the photos. She has a way of always wearing the perfect color for our little cooking sessions. 

Doesn’t this picture look heavenly?!?! I'll just take one...just like this=)

She had extra of everything, so she made this darling pie=)

With her fabulous Starbucks choice=) Ice Caramel Macchiato….

I love this part of our cooking dates=) I get to lay my camera aside and sit beside Casey on the couch and talk about life…it’s, hands down, the highlight of my afternoons with this lovely =)

These turned out wonderful! I love the Autumn feel of Casey’s photo setup.

And=)

 isn’t she lovely?!?!?

Enjoy your early Autumn weather. Before long we'll be racking leaves and digging sweet potatoes.    Snatch this the time to do all those things you’ve put off or haven't been able to do all summer. Or fall cleaning is always a good idea. I'm just about done with my spring list, and here's fall....I guess I'll just skip my summer " to do" and move on to the fall. But seriously where has this year gone? 

Anyway happy Thursday! and remember to check out Casey's blog for the recipe and directions to this fabulous little yummy. 

…and until next time=)

casey crocker’s Dessert Pizza

And yet another enjoyable afternoon spent with Casey from over at The Sunshine Hill Chronicle.  I get more inspired to try knew dishes every time I’m with this, fabulously, creative women. She made crockpot lasagna for her Mother’s Day lunch party in May. I don’t know why, but since she did I’ve been wanting to try a version myself. So I finally did for lunch last Sunday and it was a screaming success. My family was so impressed and I even heard that there was a bit of a fight over the leftovers. My dad said going to Casey’s is the most productive thing I do each month…and he hasn’t even seen a single one of these post!

So onto the recipe for July!

This time Casey decided on Dessert Pizza. So if you were wondering what to take with you to your fourth of July celebration next month or just that party your going to this weekend. Your search is over. With this amazingly easy pizza you’ll have everyone coming back for seconds.

making the sugar cookie dough for the pizza crust…lot of sugar=) so that would be the best part!!!

I can’t get over how creamy and wonderful this looked…

so I took another picture…

…and another. Sorry, not sorry!

I don’t know why but my favorite part of any recipe has always been mixing the dry ingredients…makes me sorta feel like I’m on a cooking show or something…haha embarrassing but painfully true!

Sometimes waiting can be hard on the photographer…

Even for Casey too….=)

The berries were so cool, fresh and sweet….like I could have seriously eaten ALL of those blueberries…

And these raspberries…okay I’ll stop=)

She baked the sugar cookie crust until it was beautiful and golden.

Emphasis on beautiful. And golden.

Then she made the pizza sauce…

except she used powered sugar…instead of tomatoes=)

So it was more like icing…

Oh my lands!!! It looked so wonderful. So good that I might just pack up and move into this bowl…

But then that would be weird, so scratch that thought.

doesn’t it look wonderful!?!?!?

Tah-Dah!

Absolutely beautiful and heavenly good!

Everyone should make this recipe, at least once and your life will be forever altered.

A fun pizza for the Fourth—give it a try!

Until next time=)

Happy Monday!!!!!